It should not be this hard to leave. There is no way. But right now I am in the airport, waiting for my flight with tears streaming down my face. It shouldn't be this hard but it is, because I have spent the last 10 weeks with these guys through all of the tough campers and the awesome campers and we are stronger for it. I know that I will see everyone from camp in Heaven at least, and I can keep in touch with them easily but the tears keep coming. Ok, I am going to write about all of the good things I did at camp to get my mind off leaving.

I personally touched at least 40 kids' lives by being their counselors, and I learned so much from them. They forced me to be accountable to what I said, and I couldn't always be serious... I got to act like a kid most of the time. For instance, last week I finally decided to go on the zip line (because my camper was scared to do it) and I cannot believe how much fun flying off a wire can be.

I did banana boating, I played dodge ball, I got stung by bees, I went swimming in a freezing lake, I jumped on a water trampoline, I went on long hikes around the camp, I played games in the woods with campers, I went tundra rolling.

Oh no... here come the tears again. Even memories of rolling down a hill with other counselors (and rolling into trees sometimes) makes me cry. It has been so many years since I really cried...

I am sleep deprived and probably will be until Monday night, but that is ok because even though I am going to miss these guys like nothing else, I am so anxious to see all of my friends and family back home. Not to mention I have learned so much from camp that I have nothing to be sad about right? Honestly, I learned more than I taught.

Ok, my plane is getting ready to board so I am going to get going. I can't wait to see all of you guys!

Pillow fight after pillow fight, and I am still undefeated. Sure... that isn't a huge accomplishment when all of the campers I go against are around 10, but it is still fun to fling campers all over the teepee when their legs are ripped from underneath them by the "war pillow". Oh yeah.

Since my last update, I have been doing a lot of prayer to try and find out what God has planned for my life after I leave Victory, and I am starting to realize that I am just getting started with the ministry that God has planned for me. First, I have been feeling a huge pull away from the Catholic beliefs that I have been learning for the past few years. The thing is that God has put me in a leadership position at St. Auggie's in Moscow so I am curious to see what he has planned for me relating to that. I am going to just ride it out and see.

Also, I am feeling that God wants me to go into my ministry sooner that I originally thought. I think that I am going to be attending Phildelphia Biblical Unversity in the winter where I will get a degree in biblical studies. Then with the knowledge of the bible and a year and a half of computer programming experience, God will be able to use me as he wishes. Who knows... maybe I will work at Victory again, or maybe he has other plans for me.

Last night I was talking to two of my campers about Christ and they decided to rededicate their lives to Christ. After we did that, they turned to me and asked me if I wanted to do the same, and I realized that I have not even thought about rededicating myself. It was awesome to do it, and is just me saying to the Lord, "Use me as you will." I love this work!

Well, I am going to head down to the waterfront now and hang out for a while, and then dive into the Word again. Keep me in your prayers.

This camp is getting cooler and cooler every week. Last week camp started on the 4th of July which was a little bit unfortunate because we couldn't set off fireworks or go see any firework displays... but I am really not that into fireworks anyway so I guess that is ok. What we did do was a big bar-b-que and have some fun down at the water front. They had sumo wrestling, zip lining, and banana boating. It was a fun 4th overall though.

Because the holiday was during our camp week, we had a lot less campers... actually we had almost a 1:1 ratio of counselors and campers, which meant lots more break time. One of the days during our break we had a chance to go horseback riding. Now, I have never been too into horseback riding, but I figured that I could handle 45 minutes of riding with no set up or clean up. There you go Dad... I have my dose of horses for the next year :).

Later in the week, we kicked all of the campers off of the banana boat so that we could do a counselors-only ride of the boat, which turned out to be a lot more fun than with the campers. We were flying everywhere on the lake and I think we all took on a lot of water but it was so much fun that we did it again on Saturday. Except the Saturday version was about 4 hours long... oh yeah!

We also took a trip to Valdez for our mid summer staff trip. You probably know Valdez because of the Exxon-Valdez oil spill of 1989, but it is a really nice port town too. So we got an extended weekend to hang out, and now this week will only be 4 days long. The only thing is that this week will be the youngest kids we will have all summer... 2nd graders! Dun dun.

Yeah... so keep me in your prayers. I am going to need strength, heath and patience. Also, pray that I continue to grow spiritually, because I have been seeing an unprecedented amount of growth in myself and I want to see that continue.

I put up some new picutures from the past two weeks, so check those out too.

Also, I hope that everyone else is having a good summer too. Drop me a line and tell me what is going on. I have been trying to keep in touch but it is hard here.

Week three is over and I am loving this more and more. I really love the routine, and everything is going great. I am starting to realize that these kids and everyone around me is having a much larger impact on me than I am ever going to have on them. I am seriously questioning where I want to go in life, but it is so great to trust in God because it has seemed to work pretty dang well for me so far.

Anyway, last weekend I went back to Amaris's house when I got some much needed rest and relaxation. We did nothing and I loved it. Ahh... the joys of not having a whiny and needy girlfriend... I can be myself around her. I love you Amaris. Not only that, but I found an awesome church in Eagle River. I am really starting to want to check out some other churches other than the Catholic Church. Not that there is anything wrong with the Catholic Church, but I am starting to feel like the rituals that the church does every week in mass is starting to get in the way of my relationship with the Lord, and the church that I went to with Amaris started to solidify that idea in my head.

But this week, God has really been teaching me a lot of things with the people who are around me. For one, there is another counselor who has really been getting on my (and most everyone else's) nerves pretty badly. At first, we didn't tell him about it but just let the whole situation fester. It eventually blew up on us all, but God has really been working on my patience. We still clash a little, but we sat down and came to an understanding and I found out that he honestly does not know when he is annoying everyone. So basically I am helping him realize when he is pushing people's buttons and he is helping me to be more understanding with him. This is so cool.

Also, the kids are forcing me to be a good example. There are a lot of things that I (and the other counselors) do jokingly with each other that is completely innocent but slightly inappropriate if you didn't know what we were doing. The kids are making me be a good Christian role model and really shape up my life. Honestly, it is something that I have really wanted to do anyway but it is so easy to just fall back into the same old lifestyle over and over.

But apart from my spiritual growth this week, I have been having a heck of a lot of fun. I have been getting really good at archery and riflery during the skill classes that I have been teaching. Also, the kids aren't kicking my butt at foosball anymore which is always nice.

But then there was the waterfront. For the past few weeks I was too chicken to go into the water because it is really really cold in there. The kids made fun of me but I had no problem admitting that I was chicken. This week I decided to face my fear and just jump in. Well... it was a blast. I was on the water trampoline with the kids and messing around with them in the water. Then I got a chance (actually, two chances) to ride the banana boat around the lake. It is basically a yellow boat that is long and skinny like a banana. It gets pulled around the lake behind a speed boat and tips pretty easily... that is when you are flying off a wake with four kids and me hanging on for dear life. Aww... it is sooo cool. Next week, I am going to go on the zip line! Oh yeah.

Well, I am going to sign off. Tomorrow I am going to hike up the mountain again and just have some nice quiet time with the Lord and enjoy the amazing view we have around here.

In case you haven't been taking a stopwatch to the length of the days lately, I have a news flash for you. Today is the longest day in the entire year! Crazy huh? Yeah, it doesn't really make a difference down in the "lower 48", but up here it does when the sun comes up at 3 IN THE MORNING! Oh... and it goes down around 11. It isn't like I have been paying close attention, but that is just what I read. But yeah, Alaska is crazy. Today was also one of the first days that it has not rained at all, so cheers for that too. This week I got my new set of campers, and wow they are wired. They want to run everywhere and they always want to be doing the next activity, but I like them. Last week I had two campers for my PA and I, and this week I have six of them all to myself. And for some reason, six names is easier to remember than two. I don't understand that either. I am starting to get back into the swing of things and I am starting to see how all of the skits and things are going to get really repetitious, but the one thing that I love doing is bible studies. I get to talk to all of my campers in a group and then take them on paddle boat rides to talk with them alone. I am having so much fun because each camper is unique and they all are so innocent. There are a few that didn't know how to look up a bible verse so I am really looking forward to having some time with them so that I can really do a heart to heart. This summer rocks.

Well the first week is done and I loved it. I never knew that I could get so tired, but then I also can't believe how much God can work in kids who are so young. It is just reminding me that it is not them who are figuring out these things, but God showing to them. I know that it wasn't me that was teaching it to them.

One thing that all of the counselors have done during the week is give their testamony to the campers. A testamony is how someone was brought to God and how God has worked in their life. I was giving my testimony one evening talking about how God has pretty much pulled me into his family without letting me realize what was going on (it wasn't like I decided one day to go to church... it was a very gradual thing). So I was illustrating how God had called me, when I said my name. Now, our real names are supposed to stay secret until the end of the week so discovering a counselor's name is pretty exciting for these kids, but I was in the middle of my testimony and I was really getting into it. Well, almost all of the kids at once loudly let me know that I had blown the cover. Gotta love these kids.

On Friday night they all had the opportunity to give their testimonies and I can't belive how much these kids have had to go through, but then I see how God has brought good things out of every since bad thing that has happened in their lives. One person talked about how the death of an uncle brought a family to Christ. It really makes me realize how great God is.

Also, I have been teaching my kids the daily bible studies (the material is given to us, but we have the option of how to present it), and even though I have been the worst teacher ever, my campers have been learning these really deep things out of them. Some of the stuff that they are learning is stuff that I didn't even talk about! I just have to thank God that he is doing the teaching and not me.

Honestly, even though I am tired beyond all belief and I am not getting paid monetarily for any of this, this is one of the best things that I feel like I have ever done. The problem right now is what I want to do with my life because the thought of programming again doesn't necessarily appeal very much to me. Is college where I should be right now or is it somewhere else? I don't know, but so far God has lead me to where he wants me to be, so I guess I will wait until God takes me somewhere else before I make a change.

Now before I end this post, I want to pose a question to everyone who reads this. I don't want you to tell me the answer but just to think about it. If you were to die right now, would you go to heaven or hell and why?

I made it to my first break during camp. Whew. But let me start more from my last post.

A guy came in to talk to us Saturday night, just to get us going for the week that was coming up, but he made some interesting points that really hit home for me.

• As Christians, we shouldn't be as concerned with the acts that we are doing as our relationship with God. God is all that matters and empty rituals can sometimes hinder us. This really hit me because I have already been thinking about how the Catholic Church has turned me into a mindless church goer. It isn't that I don't get anything out of it, but when every mass is exactly the same and it is just a bunch of rituals (many of which are really really old and have no significant meaning to me). Sure, I know what they symbolize, but are they going to bring me closer to God? No. And I don't think it is going to change after I see the ritual every week.
• In every situation that we go into, we should have nothing to gain, and nothing to lose. So if I screw up, I don't loose anything. If I do unbelievably well, I gain nothing. This could be applied to many different situations, but one that popped into my head was social situations where I try to impress people. While it is not something that I am heavily concerned about, it is still one of those things that is in the back of my head.
• Be yourself. Especially at a camp like this, it is so easy to just be fake for the kids and follow scripts, but don't! The kids like you as you are and they want to talk to you... not a script. But this also reminded me of my everyday life. I was particularly thinking of a situation that I was dealing with where someone was mad at me for basically being myself. I was sorry that they were mad at me, but I am who I am and I LOVE IT!

Ah yes. We got Sunday to just kind of kick it, and then we started on Monday. This week we have the oldest campers that we will ever have, and I only have two. I was thinking that this week would be a breeze to get through and then I could really start next week (when there might only be one other male counselor in my camp). I feel tired, but I am not even close to wanting it to end. These kids are so awesome, and I would not trade this job for any amount of money! I love this to death (especially when I find myself running through the woods being chased by 20 little campers who are coming from every direction while we play "Counselor Hunt").

I know that God is here when I am talking to the kids and they just all of a sudden say something that is amazingly deep that just blows me away. Yesterday we were praying in a group, and one of the campers said something that just blew me away. Then today, one of my campers who couldn't do the swim test yesterday because it was too cold got up the courage to do the test and passed! Yeah, I am going to love this summer.

I can't wait to see how much I change over this summer, because I know that these guys are having a much bigger impact on me than I am on them. They are great.

I miss you Amaris. I tried to call again but you were still gone. I will talk to you later though.

Orientation week is still in full swing and will be throughout the weekend. Even though there is so much stuff going on, I really am not stressed out at all. I know that God is my wingman and won't let me screw up too bad. But as we get closer to Monday when campers will be rolling in, I am realizing how unprepared I am to share God with other people (much less kids who may have never encountered Christ before). For example, what if a camper comes up to me and says that they are ready to accept Christ into their life. There is really no way to prepare for that because I am not going to give them a canned speech. I will have to rely on the Holy Spirit to just speak for me, and that takes a lot of faith. Not only that, but I have been a little weak in my relationship with God, and I can usually just fake it when I am going to church every week and when I am living a Christian life. I am not saying that I am fake in my relationship with God, because I love God and want to devote my life to him. But what I am saying is that when I am having one of those days when I just don't feel like praying, it is not a huge deal because God is always with me. However, if I don't keep a very close and very personal relationship with God up here, then I am going to fall on my face and possibly push my campers away from God forever. This whole camp is way more than I signed up for. When I signed up, I was thinking that it would be a great time to grow in the Lord and spend some time in Alaska, but it is so much more. I mean, guess who gets to teach bible studies to my campers? Me. Guess who they will come to with their hard questions about their faith? Me. Guess who is in charge of getting these kids to go out of their spiritual comfort zone. Me. I need God's help. There is no way that I am ready for this, and it is scaring me to death. Sure, next week I won't have as many campers as the following weeks, but I still have to be 100% for those few kids that I do have! God is putting them in my hands and I have to be ready! Ahh... but this is going to be so much fun. I can't wait. I was praying last night, and I started to realize how many people I know that are either lukewarm in their faith (which God says is the worst way to be; be either hot or cold but not lukewarm), or have completely shunned God all together. To you guys, I ask why? I guess after getting so much closer to God while being stretched in my faith, I don't understand how you couldn't believe in God. I want to know... why.

All of the other conselors are starting to show up and camp is starting to fire up. I have been in riflery and archery training during the past four days which has been pretty fun (except that I have had to take tests for each of my certifications). Since tomorrow is Sunday, we get the day off which will be a nice break before orientation week (which I have heard is a real dog of a week).

I finally chose my name for camp. I took Amaris's suggestion and will be called "Packman". Not pacman... there has to be the "k" in there. I did that because everyone has taken a liking to bashing the packers ALREADY. I mean... I figured that it would be atleast a week or so before my hat was stolen and people bashed my crew, but whatever. The name really has a nice ring to it.

More updates later. See ya.

I am still looking for a camp counselor name (seee previous post), but other than that camp is really starting to roll along. On Monday, Amaris drove me up to camp in a drive that took a little bit longer than we thought, but I got to be with her the whole time so no complaints :P. She dropped me off in time for dinner (I found out that the food here is pretty dang good too), and I met a whole hoard of people who are up here. There are so many names and I have such a hard time remembering any of them. Apparently, this camp is pretty well known because there is a group from New York up here for a few weeks, and there a good percentage of the counselors that are from the New York/ Penn area.

After dinner, I got a ride from the grounds keeper to my cabin. We were talking for a while, and the topic of wildlife came up.

"Watch out for moose around here. They are more dangerous than even the bears because they generally have their babies with them. If you get between a momma and her baby, then you had better be ready to run. The good thing is that they have terrible eyesight, so you just have to get behind a tree and they should lose you."

I had heard this before, so I just put it in the back of my mind figuring that I would only see a moose if I went a little bit into the woods away from the cabins and the lakefront in front of the cabins. I left my stuff in my cabin and started to take a walk around all of the buildings of the camp. As I started to approach the waterfront by the cabins, I came to a fork in the road. One direction went down to the water, and the other went to a shack. I stopped in my tracks, because right by the shack was a huge moose staring right at me. Not only that, but she had a baby right next to her. I stopped in my tracks. I didn't know if she would come after me or what but I started looking for big enough trees around me, but all I found was bushes. She stared at me and I didn't move.

After what felt like an eternity, she turned and started walking through the bushes and grazing. I finally relaxed a little bit. I slowly started creeping towards the shack so that I could be safe while still getting a good look at this moose. I got to the shack as she continued to graze down. As I looked at her, I realized that she had a huge hump on the back of her neck, and that her baby was no where to be found. I could understand the baby hiding out, but I didn't know that moose could have humps... especially ones that big. I found out later that it was because she was irritated about me being there, and she must have been pretty pissed.

I sat down and watched her for a long while, and eventually she sat down too. At that point, I knew that this was going to be a good summer. A summer in Alaska.

I need a good camp counselor name for all of the campers to call me. If I don't get one, then the will pick a dorky one for me at the end of the week. I need ideas!

Camp finally starts tomorrow and I am ready for it. Not to say that I am tired of Amaris, because I am not even close to that. We have been having a blast this week with her friends, driving around Anchorage, and camping with her step dad’s coworkers. But it is going to be a lot of fun nonetheless.

The camping trip we took this weekend was fun, but the drive was not. Amaris has a brother that is… well… difficult. He is 15 so he thinks that he is right almost all of the time, and if he isn’t then he just makes enough noise to compensate for it, so the drive was just short of unbearable. Also, the “camping” trip really was not camping at all because there were full hookups, and the campers were about 20 feet apart from each other (I had no problem with that because I had a place to charge my laptop while staying warm!). Also, everyone was fishing and there was not nearly enough room for all 10,000 people to be fishing on the same corner of the river, but they were. The term “combat fishing” was introduced to me when I saw people fishing literally a foot apart from each other in the river. I guess a lot of people have heard about the great fishing up here, but didn’t realize that everyone else in the world will also be coming for the fish too. Oh well.

I didn’t go fishing anyway, because I was too busy playing spoons and stuff. Also, the food those guys eat when they camp is unbelievable. Ahh… I am drooling just thinking about it.

I am going to miss being with Amaris everyday because I haven’t been eating this well in a long time. Oh… and because I like her too :P. So I will update this after I get to camp and actually start working and stuff.

First off, I will be updating this fairly regularly throughout the summer because there is an internet connection up at the camp that I will be at. However, in this primitive place that we call Alaska, there is only one cell phone carrier, which puts me in roaming mode on my cell phone, so I just turned off my phone for the summer. I am not sure if I still have voice mail, but it really doesn't matter because I will not be able to check it all summer. If you need to get a hold of me then just email me.

Now about the trip up here. I really didn't start packing until the night before my trip, but I had been thinking about I needed so I was pretty sure that I had everything ready. I saw Kacy, Kevin, Chris, Yohan, Macheala, Rammey, Matt, and Steve before I left when I played poker at Kacy's house. I also stopped by Charter to see Ms Nichols one more time before she retired and saw Corey in the process. I then ran home to get last minute things together before I left, but I still had that nagging feeling that I was forgetting something, but that is something that I always get when I am leaving for a while so I just kind of wrote it off.

I got to the airport and got through all of the security with plenty of time to spare (even though I almost forgot my wallet in my parents car), and got to relax and stop worrying about missing my flight. Then I remembered what I forgot when Danielle called and asked me when I was going to stop by to see her. Heh... yeah... I forgot a slightly important thing. Sorry Danielle, I feel really bad about forgetting about you :(.

So Alaska is awesome. Everything is really beautiful here and so is Amaris (I had to put that in because I know she hates hearing it). Amaris has been letting me drive most places so I have almost learned my way around Eagle River. Anchorage reminds me of what Boise was like 10 years ago, before the urban sprawl, the hoards of Californians, and all of the traffic.

I went to bed at around 4 last night, but it was still light out. I was expecting that, but I still have not seen any polar bears or Eskimos. I guess they hide them pretty well or something.

Anyway, we are going to go camping this weekend, and then I am going to the bible camp, so I will update this after that.

I will be gone until Monday night. I will be camping with my dad and my uncle, so when I get back I will be coming to say goodbye to everyone for the summer so make sure you leave time for me! See you guys Monday.

School is over for the year, and I miss it. I love all of the people from McCoy like a family, because that is really what they have been to me for the past year. Well, 90% of them are moving to the Scholars LLC next year, so we will still be together (I have decided to go there instead of to Theta Chi). The funny thing was that we really didn't start doing fun stuff until the last week of school, when there were Halo Tourneys almost daily, and even a run down to the new arboretum to scare two of our hall mates who were "camping" together. The most depressing part was seeing all of the rooms empty out Friday and Saturday. Whenever I saw a bare bed, I knew that the person that lived there was officially leaving for the summer, and the room I was seeing was no longer theirs. The part that really sucked was that I was in the tower until 11am on Saturday, so I saw almost everyone leave.

Looking back on the year, one thing that makes me laugh is how much I changed/ manipulated/ poisoned/ corrupted Chris. Yes... that roommate of mine who seemed so nice and polite really can be pushed to show his dark underbelly. Like, did you know that on the right occasion that Chris can almost compete with my flatulence? Not only that, but when I was considering going to Theta Chi, Chris was seriously considering joining SigEp. We both dropped the idea though. But I can be a good influence as well, like when I decided to go on a mission trip to Mexico, I somehow convinced Chris to go on the trip as well. Danielle went way more in depth with the whole thing on her blog because she has more "insider" sources on the whole thing. Makes me fell all warm and fuzzy inside to know that I had that much influence on Chris all year. :D

But now I am back in Boise, and I have just been chilling all week. I got my grades back and I have a 3.44 GPA, which I am semi-happy with. I emailed my physics teacher to find out how close I was to an A, and it turns out that I got an 85% on the final test (which blew my mind), which leaves me with an 86% in the class. The cut off for an A is an 87.5% and that pisses me off. Sigh... but live goes on.

I am so excited to go to Alaska next week though because I will get to see a whole new part of the world, doing the work of God, camping all summer, and... oh yeah... seeing AMARIS! And her friends too. I will be doing the camp from May 30-August 7, and I will get every Saturday at noon through Sunday evening off... and Amaris said that she will come get me sometimes! Yeah... this summer will rock. Seriously.

Then I will come back for a week, go to Rock the Canyon, go to school early to train for my ITS job, and move into the super double with Dan so that we can have a year of Madden. Oh yeah... this is what life is meant to be like.

One more week. That is what I tell myself over and over as I cram all of the things that I have "learned" this semester into my head so that I can regurgitate them onto an exam. I finished one of them today, and only have three more to go. Then summer starts.

Not only that, but a week and a half after that I get to go up to Alaska for the summer. This is great for two reasons: one is that I will be at a bible camp all summer hanging out and spreading the word of God to a bunch of kids. It doesn't pay, but I can handle that. The second reason is that Amaris lives about an hour away from camp.

Yes... Amaris. I haven't posted in a while so let me fill you in: we are going out. I know; Brian going out? But it is true, and she is a heck of a catch. She is beautiful, and completely humble about it. She is caring and actually puts up with me (and any miscellaneous gasses that come with me, including my feet). If you haven't met her yet, then you are missing out. She is amazing.

The other thing that I mentioned in my previous blog entry was that I was considering joining Theta Chi. It was a really close bid, but once a super double opened up in the Scholars Hall, I decide that I just couldn't move just yet. I will think about it again next year, but I don't want to leave all my friends from McCoy just yet. But then two guys from TC took me out to Applebee’s for lunch on Friday (which was awesome) and made small talk until they finally told me that they wanted to extend a bid to me right there. That would mean that I could bypass rush (which was a concern of mine) and just join, but I still declined it. Yep, this is for you McCoy!

That made me realize that I will be going from having Chris as a roommate to Dan. If you don't know either of them, then you don't know how polarly different they are. Chris is really polite, really quite, and REALLY clean. Dan... isn't. Dan is more like me, just more outgoing and... loud. Not to mention that he can kick my butt at Madden on command. Should be interesting next year.

Oh, and I will have a job at ITS next year at the help desk. Yeah... so I will have some income and stuff, but that means that I will have to come up to UI a week earlier (thus, cutting my time at Boise down to August 7 through the 14).

But Rock the Canyon is the 12th-13th. Danielle, Kacy and I went there last year and it was a blast. It is a Christian Music fest... let me know if you wanna come this year.

That’s it. Long post over.

It was time to change the look of this blog. If you know me well, you know I don't like to leave things the same for a while. I even have a program that changes my wallpaper every time I restart my computer.

Speaking of change, there is this awesome girl in my life right now. Now, you might be wondering about me... if I am sick or something… “Brian, liking a girl???”. And yes I am sick... but I am almost over the cold. But she is so cool, and she was so worth waiting for. Her name is Amaris, and once I get the guts to ask her out, then... we will go out I guess :P. Dang she's awesome.

Another change that is looking pretty final is my move to Theta Chi. The original reason that I even considered going Greek was that I was tired of paying so much for the reshalls and the meal plans, so I started looking for apartments off campus. Then I heard about the Christian fraternity Theta Chi (I had heard about them before but since that time I actually paid attention). So far I have talked with their president, eaten dinner at their house and gone to a chapter meeting, but I will be doing a stay over sometime soon. If all goes as planned, then I will be rushing them next fall. We will see how this pans out though :P.

Another thing that I am considering is my future. There is a faith based organization called Pioneer Bible Translators who do a lot of missionary work, but I have talked to them and they would be interested in taking me as IT work for next summer (summer '06). There is also the possibility of actually making that long term career (that would mean that I would have next to no income, and I would drop out of college). The only reason that I would stay in college is if I feel that God needs me to get a degree before I start in my missionary work for him, but I have really been feeling a call to do something very soon. If that means one more year of college and then diving into it, then so be it. I really don’t care how fiscally rich I am, because spiritual richness is all that matters.

On that note, many of you may know that I was going to work at a summer tech camp this summer. Well, just a week ago they sent me an email telling me that they didn’t want me anymore (this is after they told me to buy two plane tickets and get CPR training). Not only did they not give me the time of day to CALL me (the email was really impersonal), but they are amazingly hard to get a hold of so I had no idea why I was fired until about a week later. Apparently I went over my manager’s head on a few issues (that is plural), but I have never talked to anyone in the company except for her. Also, the things I called about were genuine questions that would come up when someone is asked to travel to two different cities and purchase travel for it. Oh well, I think that God planned for this anyway, because I think he is calling me to go back to the Lord’s Ranch for this summer. So I will just have to see where God leads me.

I have no idea what I am doing this summer.
I have no idea where I am living next year.
I have no idea what is going to happen after school lets out next year.

So many unknowns. But at least God is my manager… because I can trust in him!

I really should be doing homework. I did homework almost every free second last week and it has gotten me nothing. I had a physics test on Friday that I am pretty sure that I failed. I have a Calc test this week, a bunch of Core stuff, and two CS projects. It never stops!

Anyway, after I worked out today, I did my weekly weigh-in (which I have done ever since I started my "diet" in October). I started at 219.2, and when I weighed myself today I was 197.2! That is the first time since the middle of my senior year that I have been below 200. I just wonder why the plunge happened after I started eating sugar again :P.

And Friday evening I did the Relay for Life, which was a heck of a lot of fun. I was a slacker and didn't raise any money, but it was a lot of fun to hang out with people from my hall and SigEp and just kick it for the evening. There was suppose to be someone on the track at all times, so no one really got that much sleep (especially with the hard rock band at 3AM). But all in all it was worth it, and all for cancer awarness!

I am such a jackass. I talked to Kevin, and we got this crap cleared up, but I still feel terrible about it all.

"In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold."
Ephesians 4:26

Yeah, I screwed that up. I am still asking myself why. What on earth made me do that, because I look back on yesterday and it makes no sense. When I wrote those things, it felt out of character for me BECAUSE IT WAS! So why did I do it? Sigh.

I have done some serious thinking... not just about what I said but what it was in me that caused me to do it, and I think that I have some serious jelousy problems. Not just against Kevin but against almost anyone that I know. Instead of being happy for people in what they do, I get jelous.

10th Commandment
"Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's."

I don't even know if I know myself anymore. Praying last night didn't help too much except for making me realize that I know very little about myself.

I guess Kevin was just the victim of something that I have to deal with.

So since I was so unbelievably mean to Kevin on this damn blog, I will use this to apologize to him too. He forgave me, but I was still a jackass.

Kevin. I am so sorry.

As I said, I am such a jackass.

I have finally gotten my journal of the mission trip up. I have put it on another blog so that people from church who read it won't read the rest of my blog. Enjoy!

http://www.livejournal.com/~mexicantrip

The mission trip is over, spring break ended, and school is back into full swing. Everyone asks how my spring break was, and I struggle, because saying that it was awesome, unbelievable, or incredible doesn't do the trip justice. I don't think that there is a word that does do it justice. Am I glad to be back? Heck no! Down in Juarez, the people had absolutely nothing, yet there was a joy in them that was undescribable. I don't see it here in the states. The people who worked at the Lord's ranch were volunteering all of their time (one lady had been there for 28 years), and they had no problem with that. They didn't care about retirement plans, or saving up for different things, because God provided for them.

They were happy.

I have been reevaluating my life, and I don't know what I want to do. I don't want to be the same person I was before the trip, but it is so easy to fall back into that trap. I have thought about just leaving after this year, but I really want to do programming for God, which would mean that I should at least have 2 years under my belt for that. A lot of places want a whole undergrad degree. I just don't know what I want. I haven't even been getting on messenger lately.

I think I like the changes that I have made in my life though... I am not spending as much time on the computer, I am being more social, and I am praying more. I guess I will have to see where I am in a month... I just hope I can maintain this.

BTW: I kept a journal while I was on the trip, and I will be posting it here once I get it typed up. Watch for that.

Spring break is finally here, and so is my mission trip. For clearification, this mission trip is not really for converting people... it is more for serving the poor. Honestly, I have no idea what is going to go on down there, but I know that God will work with the 19 of us to do great things.

This is what I do know about the trip:

SATURDAY, MARCH 12
9 AM: Meet up at church, and get ready to go
2:15 - 5:25: Fly to Vado, New Mexico

SATURDAY, MARCH 19
8:00-9:21: Fly back to Spokane

Yeah, there is a little gap in there. But I plan to write down what goes on there and put in here when I get back. I can't wait!

If you are looking for something to read, go to the March 8th entry and read over the comments. It is becoming a pretty interesting thread.

Alright, wish me luck, and enjoy your spring break!

I talk to people, and everyone is talking about how many midterms that they have to take this week. I remember this happening last semester too, yet, over the course of my freshman year, I have had a total of zero midterms. Last semester I had a few tests that fell on midterms week (they were not midterms though), but this year I have had none all week! Computer science friggin rocks!

With midterms ending comes spring break. Normally I would be looking forward to a week off, but this year I have the mission trip. I am glad that I am going but I am starting to wish that I hadn't volunteered, because not only will I miss out on a week of relaxation, but I will also miss out on playing Madden on Sunday. Plus I am aprehensive because I have no idea what is going to happen. They have given us very few details for us to go on.

You may have have heard about the dissapearings that are going on down in Mexico. Most of them are happening in Juarez (which IS where we are going), so please pray for our team, and for the women down there who are most likely being raped and then killed. They need a lot of help down there.

I am glad that I am going. Lord, just let me be as effective as I possibly can as to bring a little bit of light to a place that is unbelievably dark.

As you may know, I love to poke fun at people... for almost anything under the sun. But I am also fair, and like to give people kudos when they do things good. In previous posts, I made fun of Kacy because he was not keeping his lenten obligations for giving up computer games, instant messaging, or sugar. But low and behold, I saw a post on Kacy's blog that stated what he is planning now.

"The way I was doin' sweets was this: No soda, no candy, other sweets like Sobe and V8 Splash if they have a sufficient amount of vitamins (sobe can have up 7 different vitamins in one bottle). Knowing this, some people don't think that sobe and v8 splash should be allowed because they have high sugar contents. To you, I say fine. I can do it."

" ...I was not including console games however some have made the argument that a console is also a computer. To you I say, fine. I'll give this up to. I am giving all this up to show you all that I can actually do it."

"...I had declared instant messaging as something I was giving up for lent. I then decided to set some rules and continue to do it."

And to that, I say kudos Kacy. Nice job!

Now that my blog is getting indexed by the major search engines, I am starting to get some extra traffic. After looking over the log, I saw some of the searches that people have typed in to get to my blog, and many of them are just a little bit wierd.

• On Google UK, someone found me when searching for '"bourne supremacy" end credits song' (I have that song on my music list).
• On Google USA, someone searched for 'Torrinim Emiliana'. I honestly have no idea how that would pull me up.
• One of the more humorous ones came from Google again. They searched for 'light pillow deathball' and I am the first result! Check it out, because I am hitting the big time now with the odd searches.
• I have to blame Yohan for this last one, and I really don't think I like this reference. When you search MSN Brazil for 'gay', I am within the first 10 results (which I take offense to!) :P

I will have to keep an eye on these for a while because these are interesting.

Anyway, McCoy hall went to a formal dinner at Bob's tonight (not in Bob's, but in a separate room... it was really fun). I posted a picture of all of us before we went to dinner, so check that out in the "Randomness" album. You can also see the picuture of us before our last formal dinner.

And I changed the colors on this site. I like change. Let me know if you do too!

Today rocked big time. Not only did the weather get back to "nice and sunny", so that I could get my shorts and sandals out, but I got great news today!

First was when I got accepted as the new hosting coordinator intern. Basically, that means that I will be helping out quite a bit for Vandal Friday, in the order of getting everything coordinated, and learning what the position entails. Also, I will be first in line to take the position at the end of the school year. I hope that this will be a cool position, so we will see. Oh, and don't get mad if I have to heckle you into hosting someone for Vandal Friday, but we are going to be very very short on hosts (so save us the time and sign up!)

The other good news that I got, was that I got the job as a camp counselor at the summer tech camp. It is a camp put on by a company called Internal Drive. The camp is for kids age 7-17, and I would be teaching Computer Programming/Robotics or Game Modding. They assigned me to those positions because of my programming experience (not because I have ever even modded a game :P, but that is my backup one). I would earn between $500-$650 a week depending on what camp I work at, and I would work about 8 weeks of the summer. I can't wait, because I will teach for a few hours every day, get food covered, get to go to some other city somewhere in the US, and make some pretty good money while staying at summer camp! Sorry Micron, but this is just more fun!

Well after Saturday night, I am 100% positive that I don't want to ever drink alcohol. I am past being curious about it, because last weekend I tried some of Yohan’s alcohol and decided that it tasted like crap. The weekend before, I tried some of the "bitch beer" that Yohan had, and while I liked the taste of the flavoring, the alcohol component tasted really bad. I have no desire to get drunk and act like an ass, so I don't plan to ever drink alcohol.

Last night right around midnight, I saw Kacy sign into Messenger. I was kind of confused because he said that he was giving up instant messaging for lent, and since it was 11:58 he really couldn't stay on for more than 2 minutes. When I asked him about it he said that he didn't give it up for lent, but that it was just something that he gave up for the duration for lent. Hmmm... so now he has bailed on that I guess. Also, he has apparently been playing Play Station 2 a lot lately (he gave up computer gaming for lent, and he doesn't consider that a computer), and we just happened to talk about the console architecture in CS150 today. The PS2 has what is called RISC (reduced instruction set computer) architecture, which is obviously a computer. Oh well, Kacy can give up whatever he wants for lent; even if that is nothing :P (just kidding Kacy, you know I have to give you crap about this).

As many of you know, I am part of the Vandal Ambassadors, and the main event, Vandal Friday, is coming up pretty quickly. Because of that, we had our meeting down in Southside so that we could tour the Targhee and Steel rooms, and while I was there I had a chance to interview for some of the Vandal Ambassador positions (like the real ones that have some prestige). I also got to talk to JB for a while. I miss her, and she is going to down Boise this week so take a minute to send her an email wishing her off, or IM her. It would mean a lot to her.

In a recent post, I talked about how Yohan was in denial about loving Hanson's song "UmmBop". Also, if you have looked through my photo albums, you will see a few of Yohan's pictures where he is cross dressing (these are new pictures too, not any of the ones that you have seen before). But last night, Yohan sunk to a new extreme.

Note, that if Yohan really had a problem with me posting about this, I wouldn't have.

This post is not for the faint of heart, short on time, or homophobic. This post depicts what alcohol can do to you, and the truth that it can bring out of people. If you think Yohan is a great guy and want to keep thinking that way... well... maybe you shouldn't read this post. But if you want to be a good friend and have something to laugh with him about, read this.

Last night, Yohan decided that it was time to dive into stronger alcohol, and did so with a guy on our hall who is an out of the closet gay (I will not say the guy's name because I don't think he wants the world to know). Originally, there was no problem because we were outside throwing a football around, but later it got very interesting.

The question about whether Yohan like's Hanson's song was put to rest when he started ecstatically dancing to it (a guy two doors down came down and told Yohan to keep it down). Later on when the night was winding down, I did my drunken test to see how much Yohan could remember. I gave him a random number and told him to remember it for the morning (I did the same test on Kyle from our hall, and he had to write it down but forgot why he wrote it down). It turns out that Yohan could remember the number this morning, so he wasn't THAT drunk last night. Keep that in mind when I tell you the rest of the story.

We were in the bathroom with the gay guy from our hall, and Yohan was going around giving everyone hugs. The gay guy has a habit of hitting on guys when he is drunk and that got Yohan talking about sleeping with him. Originally I thought he was joking, but he kept talking about it, so I grabbed my cell phone out and started recording all of the happenings. They went back to Yohan's bedroom and climbed in bed. Here are some of the more interesting quotes from Yohan (and remember that these are direct quotes, because I have this all recorded!

*Am I being the bitch tonight?
*Don't get a boner please.
*How many mega pixels is that one, be-yach?
*I am not going to kiss you! Ok, you get an air kiss.
*Hey, are you gay? And are you an open closet homosexual or a closed closet homosexual?
*Oh shit, oh shit.
*This is going to be so weird in the morning.
*Quit feeling my manboobs.
*You only get to my waist and up, that’s it. Maybe on the second date you can get a little bit lower. Second date is the kiss, third date is more.
*I don't turn gay or bi-sexual until I get drunk.
*We should do this every weekend. I will pay you! (NOTE: He was referring to the alcohol, but it still makes a funny quote)
*I don't love you yet, I am not ready to take that step yet.
*You are the first person I have slept with on this bed. Why is it a gay relationship?
*You know, I completely support civil unions of gays, and tax benefits of gays, and gay relationships.
*You aren't getting any further down than that, no you aren't getting any further down than THAT!
*Aww... I am going to miss you! (…as he got up to go to the bathroom)
*Take off your sweatshirt.
*Maybe I am a closet Bi... I am not sure.

Yes, this is all true. Funny... yes. Is Yohan gay or Bi? I highly doubt it, which is why I can post about this. If he actually was gay/ bi then this would not be anything to joke about. So we can continue to poke fun at him about his love of Hanson, the way he cross dresses, and how he slept with the gay guy from our hall.

Thanks Yohan!

Well it is official. I have moved from LiveJournal to Spaces. It seems that with everyone getting MSN Messenger 7, I am starting to get a lot more traffic to this blog than I ever got to my live journal one, so I will run with that.

I can't believe how happy I have been lately! I attribute it all to the great weather that we have been having, because today I didn't even bring my coat with me! On top of that, my CS 121 lab was cancelled today, so Yohan, Kevin and I hung out on the admin lawn and enjoyed the weather. Now I get to look forward to shorts weather! I think I am going to wear Hawaiian stuff tomorrow to keep me in this awesome mood. :)

Last night I had the chance to go to the Jazz fest and see what all of the commotion is about. I mean, I have never seen UI buzzing as much as it this week (and I have never heard so many middle schoolers quoting Napoleon Dynamite). While the concert was good, it got boring after about an hour, so I left. I also left because I had to go to a focus group on my floor, but apparently Kacy got mad at me because I didn't stay for the whole concert (even though I told Kevin that I would only stay until 8:30 when he offered me a ticket... shesh!).

Going into the focus group, I really didn't know what to expect, because I didn't think that our floor was much for opening up and being vulnerable, but I was surprised. I learned a lot about people on my floor, and I really enjoyed it. Not only that, but everyone seemed really comfortable with the fact that a Christian organization was putting it on, which really surprised me! The group goes for another two weeks, and I can't wait for the next sessions! These rock!

Oh... and if you haven't seen Zoolander or Saw yet, then you had better do so! We saw both of them this weekend and, while they were polar opposites, they were awesome. Zoolander portrayed Kevin's future as a model (loving the way he looks... always making "looks" in pictures... dressing for every occasion... etc). It was really really funny too and I saw it twice.

Saw was a horror film about two guys that are stuck in a room, where one is told to kill the other, otherwise his family dies. After an amazing plot, the movie ends, but the parts between what I described were completely awesome (kind of sick... but still a very good movie if you aren't squeamish).

Now, I will stop procrastinating and study for my CS test for tomorrow.

It appears that there are not many people that read this version of the blog. Please visit http://spaces.msn.com/members/maiios for the new blog posts, or read http://maiios.livejournal.com for the archives.

We miss you Danielle! Love you and we will see you soon.

Ironic... Yohan was the one who attacked Danielle for listening to Hanson... but today he was the one who walked into my room humming the tune to MMMBop. Not only that, but I have evidence that he is in denial. Look at the picture. I sat down with him and we had a chat. I told him that what ever we talked about would stay between us. Well... sorry Yohan. He admitted to me that he really did love the band and he thought they were pretty hot. Not only that, when we started talking about Dave Matthews, he admitted that he could tell the difference between the live versions of the songs. Even though he asked me to shoot him, I told him I would get him help... later.

The other thing you will notice is that everyone's name on my list is exactly the way it should be. Kevin doesn't have balls all around him, Chris isn't "Some Other Kid" and Corey isn't talking about bologna. Why you ask? Has my campaign to get people to conform to naming standards worked? Hell no. I got Messenger Plus, which allowed me to set whatever names I want for you! So put whatever dumb things you want in your name, but I will never see it. I will only see the name I set for you, and the personal message you set! That battle is won!

Also, today was my interview with a company called iD, which runs summer camps all over the US. So I would be able to spend the whole summer in camp, teaching kids about programming and game modding! Does it get better than that? I don't think so. The pay isn't bad, and I would be able to live somewhere other than Moscow or Boise, which would be pretty exciting. I think that the interview went pretty well, but I will know for sure next Monday or Tuesday.

Ok, it is time for bed. Chris is telling me how much of a waste of time blogs are (which is a dirty LIE!), but he is also going to bed. Hasta la Pasta!

NOTE: I just realized that some people are shown as blocked in this screenshot, but please don't take offense. I was working on computer science and so I had everyone that was online blocked because I just wanted to be able to ask Yohan questions, but not start small talk with everyone else on my list. When I took the screenshot, I thought that it would look bad if I had everyone blocked so I unblocked everyone that was online… I just forgot to unblock everyone else on my list. That is why JB, Corey, Luckey, Chamea and Jackie are blocked. Sorry :(

As Yohan mentioned in his blog, he caught Danielle listening to the over the hill, girly man group "Hanson". Not only did I catch her listening to it again, but I also saw some other things with this new version of messenger.

1) Kevin doesn't label his music. Windows Media Player makes it so easy... that even a noob could do it. But he can't handle it I guess.

2) If Corey had 100 fields to type messages in, he would use every one, even when none of them really seem to mean anything.

Update: I just witnessed Kevin change through 8 different songs... but the tag on his name never changed. How you ask? Well... one was in Central Park, one was in Red Rock, and then there was "Crash" version and "Listener Supported". I knew that he was making the last one up or something... because Dave Matthews couldn't have fans. Oh... and then there was one from Luther College (where the heck is that)? What next... he is going to start making places up?

Many times people ask me if I am paying for my college, or if my parents are. The true answer is that an insurance company is. This is why.

It was Halloween, 1998, and I was dressed up as a pirate. It was a good costume because I had the bandana on my head, a patch on my eye, and some pretty good make up on my face. The clothes my mom and I put together made it perfect. My brother and I had the place we were going scoped out and everything and we knew we had to be fast to fill up the pillow cases that we were bringing to carry our candy. We were going to Lexington Hills, the richest neighborhood in Eagle (this was before the huge influx of Californians came to Idaho and started building subdivisions anywhere there was land).

We met up with family friends who had two kids of their own. Of course we didn't let our parents talk too much because we were already running behind schedule and we had to hit the houses before people started turning their lights off. Off we went up to the houses, ring the doorbell, say "trick or treat", and then run back to the sidewalk to repeat the cycle.

The night went great, but just like every year, I didn't quite fill up the pillow case with candy. That could be attributed to the fact that my dad asked for candy every few houses (and slowed down our progress), and the fact that I would eat a lot of the good candy that I got. But anyway, we got back to the house of the family that we went with, and we all spread out our candy on the ground (of course, keeping it segregated and attacking anyone who looked at it wrong). We stayed and gorged ourselves for a bit, while we waited for our parents to get ready to go. Finally, they told us to stop eating all of the candy (as my dad took another piece), and to get ready to go. We were walking out when my mom said that she had to go to the bathroom and that she would meet us outside. So we got in the van and waited. My dad was driving, and my brother and I were on the bench seat right behind them, with me by the door (passenger side) and my brother by the window (driver’s side). My mom got in and sat in the passenger seat.

The night wasn't over for me because we were going to the Albertsons to get food for my birthday breakfast, since my birthday was the next day. We were going to drive down Floating Feather and turn right on Eagle to get to Albertsons. My parents were asking what I wanted for breakfast as we came up to the intersection of Eagle and Floating Feather. This was before they had a light in at that intersection, and I think I know why they put one in shortly after. We came to a stop, yielded, and then proceeded to make a left turn. I remember looking to my right out the window, and seeing two headlights that were awfully close and then hearing a huge "boom". I didn't realize what had happened immediately until I looked around. My brother was crying, my mom was trying to get her door open (which wouldn't happen because we got hit around there), my dad was trying to help, and the window next to me was completely blown out. Wait... the entire door was smashed in so that it was touching the bench my brother and I were sitting on. There was something warm running down my face. I reached up and felt the blood. My parents were probably telling me what to do but I couldn't hear anything. I unbuckled my seatbelt and climbed out the window. I realized that we were right next to the light pole in the intersection, and I had no idea how we had gotten over here but I sat down next to it. I looked down the road and saw half a dozen people on their cell phones, and one guy ran up to me and gave me a blanket. At some point my parents got out and started asking if I was ok. It was all such a blur. At some point the cops showed up, and an ambulance. They took the guy who hit us first because he was worse off, and then another ambulance came and took me. I guess the rest of my family was fine, because my dad rode with me to make sure I was ok, and my mom and brother went to get a car from home so that we could drive back from the hospital.

The ambulance ride felt pretty quick (but they didn't even turn on their sirens I think. I didn't hear them and it seems like we stopped a lot). We got to the hospital and they put a neck brace on me. They weren't sure if I had anything wrong with my neck, and they wanted to be sure. After some X-rays, they took off the brace and decided to work on the part that was in need of work. The wounds on my face that had been bleeding all over the place. There were cuts on my nose and lip and it took 30 stitches of pain, and stuff running down my throat before they finally let me go home.

Later on, we found out that the guy who hit us had a blood alcohol content of .4 (which is .4% I found out much later). He had gone through his windshield when he hit us, which is why he got the first ambulance. Unfortunately, he survived. When we went back to the car to check it out about a week later, I realized that my mom's seat had been pushed over 45 degrees, and that lead to about two years of pain in her back and neck. The guy had no insurance so my parent's insurance covered it, but my mom had no physical injuries, so she got nothing. All the guy got for the whole ordeal was 120 days in jail and probation (which he broke). But when he was in jail, his dad died, and he couldn't leave jail to go to his funeral, which I think was way more punishment than anyone should have to take.

Out of it, the insurance company gave my parents $18,000 for my injuries, and $9,000 to my brother. That turned into $21,000 for me after sitting in a mutual fund for a few years, and is what I am going to college on. At this point it is a chapter in my life, that I am only reminded of by the scar on the underside of my nose, and the scar tissue still in my upper lip. Chapter closed.

One of my biggest pet peeves is people's MSN names. Corey and Kacy always has some really long message on his name, Kevin had those dumb soccer balls around his name, and Chris has some amazingly out of date message on his name (if he got on more often then that wouldn't be the case!). But finally there is a solution! In build 604 of MSN Messenger 7, they allow for custom names. You would know if you have build 604 because you would not have gotten it from MSN's site. The best place to find it is http://www.thaiware.com/download/programinter/msn700604.rar. What I like about this build is that you can have your name as (for example) "Brian" and then have a personal message as "MSN 7.0.0604 RoXoRZ!!!" or something like that. Then when you are chatting with people, it will show up as "Brian says" instead of "Brian - MSN 7.0.0604 RoXoRZ!!! says". So please, do me a favor and download this version. It is really stable and it is well worth the download.

Danielle is gone. She had put it off as long as she could, and got to stay an extra month, but of course the day would come. Today was that day. Apparently she stayed up until 9 am packing, and then slept until 11 am, when we came in to bring her to brunch. Oh well. After that, we hung out with her until about 4:00 when her parents showed up (4 hours late) and picked her up. She was not very happy about going because I guess her mom, Anne, is doing something... I am not sure what. She told me something that didn't line up with what Danielle had told us for quite a while, and that did not make Danielle happy. I am not sure why her mom would lie about something like that; was she trying to get me mad at Danielle? Because it just got her madder at her mom, and made me wonder where Anne gets off treating her like that. Sigh, she has a house in McCall that she has the option of staying in, but I made her promise to give her mom a chance for two weeks, but I doubt that will happen, and I don't think that I would blame her... but I guess you have to love your mom right?

The nice thing is that nothing will change with how I communicate with Danielle, because I usually just talked to her over IM anyway. Now I just don't have to be bothered with interacting with her face to face... now if I could just get that with everyone, I could hole up in my room. Then I would stop signing in to MSN and then I would be like Chris! The problem, of course, is that I wouldn't be able to play Solitaire Showdown... and that is bad. Especially this week when I gave up gaming and I could not play... it was terrible. I would have soothed my sorrows with chocolate... but of course I gave up sugar too. Dar. I have been doing really well for my Lenten observance too! The only mess-ups that I have done so far have been meat on Fridays (which is a no-no), but I will have to keep working on that.

Heh... a funny thing is that Kacy is giving up computer games for lent, but I went to see him today and he was playing Final Fantasy X on the Play station. First off... that game sucks. The FF series is one of the most boring games I have ever seen because you just run around and fight people... and it is the same fight sequence over and over. Bleh. But anyway... Kacy gave up computer games for lent, and he said that it was ok for him to play the Play station because it COULD be considered a "console". Sure... I can agree with that, but if you are going to get technical, let’s look at the definition of a computer. If I remember from Mr. Sidenstricker's class in 6th grade, a computer is something that takes input, produces output, processes information and stores information. Yep... PS takes input from the controller, outputs to the screen, processes the information from the CD and stores information in its RAM. But let’s look at some other definitions from http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=computer.

1) A device that computes, especially a programmable electronic machine that performs high-speed mathematical or logical operations or that assembles, stores, correlates, or otherwise processes information.

Heh... yeah... while you could say that the PS isn't very fast, it does assemble, store, correlate, and process information.

2) Machine for performing calculations automatically

Yep... PS does that

3) Computers can perform complex and repetitive procedures quickly, precisely and reliably and can quickly store and retrieve large amounts of data.

Complex processes... yeah (graphics engine), repetitive (especially with FF... everything is the same while loop) and reliably (Kacy said that he had had it running for 48 hours straight) and retrieve large amounts of date (it is a 5 gig DVD). If you continue to read that definition, it talks about having a CPU (PS has it), input (controllers), output (monitor), and memory (RAM).

Shesh Kacy... it sounds like you are making up the rules as they suite you! But I am not going to judge you... just heckle you! :P I mean... what else am I good for.

But in all honesty, Kacy is doing pretty well giving up sugar, IM and SOME computer games. Even Yohan gave up pop for the duration of lent... and he is doing really well on that. I have been pretty amazed as to how many non Catholics that I have talked to who are giving up something for lent. It really is a good feeling to give something up that you would really love to have. And the weird thing about me giving up sugar is that I want it less and less. This rocks!

Anyway, I am going to try and play a game of Solitaire Showdown (since it is Sunday). My record right now is 976-659-43 (1669 games total). I want to hit 1000 wins here pretty soon, along with 1700 games overall. See ya!

Finally, I am feeling a little bit secure with my grades. It was looking a little bleak there at the beginning of the semester when I was getting quizzes and assignments back with very poor grades on them, but ever since I have been taking notes by hand and paying attention in class (well... paying more attention in class :P) I have been doing much better. Today I got back my Physics test with an 88% on it, a CS 121 assignment where I got a 120%, and a CS 150 quiz that I got a 100% on. I have two tests coming up very shortly, and if I do well on those then I should be smooth sailing! Now if only our Physics Lab teacher would hand back assignments!

If you are up for a huge challenge, go to http://deathball.net/notpron. It is a huge riddle that you have to solve through. Right now I am on level 9, and I only have half of the clues I think. It is a game where you have to use every bit of information that you can, and that includes things in the pictures, the title bars of your browser, the URL, and even the source of the pages. It is really hard. Let me know what level you get to, and good luck!

I am starting to see my 19 credit class schedule catch up with me. It is not that I can't handle it (because I can) but I am noticing that I have much less free time, and that I am forced to manage my time more efficiently (like not wasting time writing in this blog!). But it is ok, because Yohan has the exact same schedule as I do, so between the two of us, we can figure out any problem, and get each other motivated to do homework. Good thing indeed.

I got the new version of MSN Messenger, and it rocks. Now instead of setting your name to "Brian - Something new happened in my life", you can have your name as "Brian" and then have a personalized message that will show up in the main Messenger window only. So when you are chatting to someone, it only says "Brian says". It rocks. You can also have it show what music you are listening to, which is a semi cool feature. One focus that version 7 has is their "My Space" blogging service. I have looked around it, and it looks ok. I think I will try it out for a while (where I put my blog post both on Livejournal and MySpace). If you want the new beta of messenger, ask me for it and I will send it to you.

Last Wednesday was the first day of Lent, and so far I am not doing too well for it. On Ash Wednesday, I should have fasted (which I have heard a lot of different meanings for... it is either that you only have bread and water, or that you just eat very little during the day), but I didn't even try. Also, it is a day of obligation, which means that I should have gone to church, but I was talking to Danielle, and I didn't think that it would be nice to just get up and leave when we were talking about a sensitive subject like that. Then on Friday, I shouldn't have eaten meat... but I forgot about that too. Sigh... well for Lent I gave up gaming (like computer, console, and cell phone), but that has proven to be much easier than I thought it would be, so I am also giving up sugar because I think that I have been eating too much of that lately. That, on the other hand, is proving to be very very hard. I have only been doing that for about 15 hours, and I want sugar soooo bad. Not only that, but there is a huge box of it in my closet right now. Mmmm.... I want. *drool*

Football is over. AFC won the Pro Bowl. Now starts the off-season :(

There was a blood drive today, and for some reason the needle just looked so much more greusom today. Maybe it was because when it went in, blood kind of spurted over my arm. That didn’t make me feel any better. I don’t mind giving blood, but I hate the part when the needle goes in. But that is over, and I have done my good deed for the day. Yeah!

Let’s see... did anything else eventful happen? Hmm... oh yeah! For the first time in my life, I was not sitting at home on the computer on Valentines Day! Not only that, but I had fun planning the whole thing [Edit: I have to give credit to a lot of people for helping with planning including Danielle, Yohan, Chamea, and many others. Thank you for your help!!]. Ok... here is what I did. To start with, Yohan and I skipped Math to decorate Amaris's room (he wanted me to mention that he blew up the balloons). We put balloons and streamers all over her side of the room, and made it really cool looking, so that when she came back from her classes at 12:30 that she would have that surprise. After that, she would see a note on her laptop that had a poem on it, and a message for her to go to the 11th floor study lounge. In the study lounge was another poem that told her to go to the roof access door, and then a note on the roof access door that told her to go to the 10th floor pool table. Attached to that note was a bar of soap with a note that basically told her that she smelled (because she always says that she smells funny, or that I smell funny), and told her to go to the place that she would use soap (which is the showers). In there was a shower caddy that had a rose, and a 24 karat bracelet with it that had a very nice poem on it. She said that she couldn't believe how creative I was... and neither could I. Who knew that I could write poetry... much less five poems!

Later, I was trying to think ahead by sending Chris out to get the movie tickets ahead of time, but that plan fell apart because one theater didn't take credit cards or checks, and the other didn't open until 6:30. So we were running behind to start with, but somehow we got to the restaurant on time and had a great time. The food was great, and everyone had a good time making fun of me :P. After that we went to see Boogeyman, which was fun. Not a great movie... but good if you want a scare (because it scared me pretty bad at the beginning).

Good times. I know that I like Amaris, and would definitely be up for a second date. I guess I just have to figure out if she feels the same way. But it is now time to cut this long entry short.

Well the Super bowl is over, and basically it was nothing special. People watch the Super bowl because it is different than every other game that is played over the season. It has the best teams, the best commercials, and the best halftime show. This year, it only had the best teams. There were a lot of commercials that were good, but they weren't great. Ford kept playing the same dumb ad over and over again (I mean it was mediocre the first time, but the next three sucked). Ameriquest had really good ones, and so did FedEx. Budweiser was good, but they had the same caliber ads that they always do. Aren't you suppose to save the best for the Super bowl? Oh well, that is what they get for being so good during the regular season. Then GoDaddy.com ran an ad for domain registration, that reminded me of all of the ads that ran during the dot com boom. I think that this site will go down in similar fashion, because most of the audience that they advertised to have no idea what a domain is, and if they did register one, then they wouldn't understand that you also need hosting. Bad investment.

The halftime show was terrible. In years past, they usually have more than one band and then string them together back to back, and even at the same time. This year was one guy who I think is beyond his prime. Of course they went with a guy who couldn't have a wardrobe malfunction. That pisses me off that just because of one incident that FOX has to play it safe. Shesh... damn you Janet Jackson... damn you.

But the game was good. Very good. The defenses were keeping the high powered offenses in check, but to be fair to New England, they have lost a lot of the starters that they had at the beginning of the season, so if they had been at 100%, I don't think that this would have been much of a game. But it came down to a field goal, and ended with New England being a "Dynasty". But they are losing their offensive and defensive coordinators to other jobs, so I don't think that they will be doing as well next year.

In other news, I got a room in the scholars LLC with Yohan, Chris and Luckey! We got our second choice room too! Good stuff.

Do you even just stop and think about everything that is going well in your life? Even when everything seems to be taking a turn for the worse, there is still so much going on that is good! I have to say that I am having an especially good week this week.

Today when I was lounging around, I got a call from Micron telling me that they had a position open up, and that they wanted to do a phone interview with me next week! Not only that but I would get a salary that is less than what they pay their full time employees, but still very comparable and competitive. They didn't give me a firm number for that (I imagine that they will determine that after the interview) but it sounds awesome. They also have different things going on for their interns (about 670 in total) that will go on over the course of the summer like BBQs and floating the river. Not only that, but it would be in Boise so I would be able to live at home and commute to Micron! This is sweet.

Other the other side of things, I have also been looking for an internship with a Christian organization where I can use my programming skills to do something worthwhile. I would probably not get paid much (and some internships are at companies that are so strapped for cash, that I would have to cover all of my own expenses), but I would have the opportunity to work for God and might even be able to work overseas.

So that is my predicament. My summer looks very promising, but I have to make the decision. Micron looks pretty close to being for sure, while the ministry internship is still way up in the air. I think that I am just going to wait as long as I can before making a decision, but it is going to be hard to turn down a good paying job in Boise, with a company that I have dreamed of working for since my last internship. Sigh.

Another good thing this week is that Danielle has been having a better time lately. She is sad about leaving later this month, and the alcohol didn't help much either. Overall, I think that she is dealing with things and enjoying herself more, but the bumps on the road are hard on her. I just wish that she would understand that leaving UI doesn't mean that we won't talk to her anymore. I mean... I still have to kick her butt at Solitaire Showdown!

And I kept my promise to myself of not drinking alcohol tonight. Lately, I have been feeling a lot of pressure to drink, not because people are pressuring me but because it seems like I am one of the last people on campus who doesn't drink. I was worried that I would tonight because I would just want to try it once, but I didn't. I guess every time that I went to do it I just chickened out and shied away. I am not sure what I am scared of, because there really is nothing to be scared of. I just didn't do it, and I am so proud of myself because of that.

And I can't forget about Amaris! Amaris is the first girl ever to do something with me on Valentines Day, but the problem is that I am not sure what I am going to do with her. Dinner and a movie is the tried and true fall back, but I want to make it better than that. I have a week and a few days to get my act together, but that doesn't mean that I will have creative genius between now and then. Sigh... we will see.

My trial of not using my laptop in class anymore seems to have been a success. I feel like I understand everything better, and my quiz scores from this week reflect that. I think the laptop is going to permanently stay away during class now.

Anyway, it is bedtime. Over and out.

It is already a month into the New Year, and it has gone by so quickly. It feels like school just started, yet we are still three weeks into it, and the most depressing part of it is that the football season is almost over. I realized that it was getting bad when Yohan, Chris and I turned Madden on and let the computer play the game so that we could see who the winner of New England vs. Philadelphia would be. Surprise, surprise, it was New England.

One thing that I am really scared of is that Brett Favre could retire at this point. I think he is making something like $8 million a year, so he is doing fine financially, and he has so many records that it is not even funny. I think they are already making a place for him in the Hall of Fame. Also, he is 35 and not the same quarterback that he used to be, because he is 1-5 in the playoffs for the past five years. Every time he gets there, he turns over the ball so much that the other team is almost forced to win. So I am not sure if he is waiting for an elegant Super Bowl win to end on (maybe he wants to exit like John Elway did), but I am really not sure that will happen. I want him to stay... I mean it isn't the Packers without him. Sure, Craig Nall, their second string quarterback, seems very good, and would keep the Packers going very well... but he still isn't Favre. I have a feeling that Favre will stay, but there is that possibility.

On a lighter note, we reserved our rooms for next semester today. Right now Yohan, Chris, Luckey and I are planning on getting a suite in the Scholars LLC together, but Luckey is applying for an RA position, which would leave us with Logan most likely (but Chris prefers Kyle... I like Logan and prefer him, so I guess we will cross that bridge if Luckey gets the position).

I finally might have a job, too! I was returning some books to the bookstore last week, except that the vandal card machine was broken so that I couldn't get my refund. They told me to come back the next day to finalize the transaction so that I could get my money back. Well when I went back the next day, and was waiting for the lady to finish the transaction, I noticed a sign that said that there was an opening for a computer sales rep. After talking to the person in charge, I found out that it was a $7.50 an hour job and that I just needed to leave my resume. Nice! I have had a lot of free time lately anyway, and then I would get to hang around computer stuff all shift. Besides... it would be a job that would be a lot of standing around and talking about computer stuff (which I like to do anyway). I have my interview tomorrow, so we will have to see how that goes!

That makes me happy. Like listening to good music type of happy. I grabbed a bunch of music from Davin and I am getting addicted to the Bond soundtracks and Eiffel65. Euro pop. Yeah, remember "Blue Da Ba Dee Da Ba Die"? Oh yeah... that disc rocks. So does The Killers. I know that the name sounds... well... violent... but they are really good! You should pick some of that stuff up from www.allofmp3.com.

If you know Chris or have talked to him at all lately, then you have heard of Burnout 3. If you haven't heard of it, then shame on you for not talking to him! Shesh... be social. Anyway, my grades are going to dive because of that damned game. It is so addictive and I haven't even played the single player yet. It is on my list, right after finishing Half Life 2. I guess that I am on the last level, and it is an awesome level that I should leave about an hour to play... I just haven't had an hour of uninterrupted time! I want to end the game well... especially since it has taken me a month and a half to finish it. Got to make this good.

But I got to get to bed first. Later.

Ok, it is time to update. I am not sure why I haven't updated in a while... I guess it is because school is finally in full swing. Last time I updated was the first day of the second week of school, and now we are done with the third week. The next time that we get a holiday is President's day. Not that I am saying that I don't like my classes, because I really do, and I really like most of my teachers. Math is a breeze and the teacher's voice sounds like some famous actor... like Ben Stiller or something. Both CS classes are pretty nice, and cover very different topics. Core is ok... but at least I have found that I really don't need to read the readings that are assigned, because we are never quizzed on them. Physics was pretty easy for a while, but I think that I am going to have to start paying attention in my classes a little bit more. I have noticed that I have not been understanding the concepts as well in classes where I have my laptop out. Also last semester, both of the classes where I generally had my laptop out during the whole class were the classes that I got B's in. The classes that I didn't were the ones that I got A's in. I think I am going to start taking notes on paper. The laptop is good, but it offers to many ways to get off task, and I think it will have to stay away during class.

One other class that I am thoroughly enjoying is the workout class that I am taking. It is really good because not only do I have a teacher who can give me pointers, and get me on a good workout program, but I am also forced to go at least twice a week. It is an easy credit (as long as I show up, I pass) and I am starting to notice that I am in better shape! I think I am going to have to take a course like this every semester.

I don't know if any of you will notice, but this is the first weekend since September where there isn't a football game on. That’s right, 30 out of 32 teams are done for the season, and the Eagles and the Patriots get an extra week off to prepare for the Super Bowl. I understand why there is the extra week (they have to get their families down to Jacksonville, and still stay focused on the game and prepare to play the best football of their life), but I want it now. Sigh. Oh, with my predictions being right last week (I predicted the Patriots and the Eagles), that brings my post season prediction record to 5-5, exactly 50%. If I get the Super bowl right (which I have 6 out of the past 7 years), then I will be over 50%. As much as I would love for the Eagles to knock off the Patriots so that I don't have to hear about how good the Patriots are, or see how good they are in the Super Bowl, I really think that the Patriots are going to win. After seeing them dismantle two of the best offenses in the AFC (the Indianapolis Colts and the Pittsburg Steelers), I am not sure that the game will really even be that good. I am hoping that with the extra week to prepare, that they will be very evenly matched teams, but I wouldn't bet on it.

Our hall got to go to a hockey game (Spokane Chiefs vs Tri City Americans) last weekend along with the rest of the reshalls. It was a really good game, and it looked like it was going to be a blowout because towards the end it was 4-1, but those American's didn't give up. They scored three points, one with 5 seconds left in the game. The crowd was actually counting down the seconds until the end of the game when they scored. It was pretty funny when the whole crowd went silent trying to figure out what was going on. In the end it was a tie because no one scored in the overtime period, but it was a good time anyway. It was buck night, so all of the food was really cheap, but we got in a line where the lady, Phyllis, was going as slow as she could. Sigh... missed a lot of the game because of her :@.

Of course, one thing to look forward to is the commercials that go on every year. While they don't release them before the game, you can see commercials of years past at www.superbowl-ads.com. Good stuff. Go to www.budweiser.com to see a really good one that they can't show during the Super Bowl for obvious reasons. It is really, REALLY good.

Ok, this has been a long enough post. Maybe I will get up early and try to enjoy this unusually good weather that we are having. Last week we hit a record high of 56 degrees! Tomorrow is only supposed to be 45 degrees, but that is still pretty good for a January. I guess winter is already over... oh well... no sweat off of my back.

The playoffs never cease to amaze me. In week one of the playoffs, homefield advantage didn't seem to matter because only 1/4 teams with homefield advantage won. This week, every team with homefield advantage won. Not only that, but there was only one game that was even close! So with this weekend, I have gone a pitiful 3-5 in my predictions. Oh well, here is my last stab at going .500.

THIRD ROUND
Atlanta vs Philidelphia - Philidelphia
New England vs Pittsburg - New England

SUPERBOWL
Philidelphia vs New England - New England

This weekend, a group of us from McCoy went to Pullman to watch the movie "White Noise", and while I am not too wild about scary movies, this movie rocked! It is about a guy named John Rivers, whose wife dies and then communicates back to him through broadcast static. The plot was one of the best horror plots that I have seen in a while, and it was scary as hell. While it is a little bit predicable because you know when big things are about to happen, what scary movie isn't like that. There were times when I felt like yelling at the main character to stop being a moron and turn around. But all in all I would say that it is an excellent movie: 5/5 (and that is rare for me!)

Last night Danielle came in and said that she could go a month without talking to Chris or me. That included telephone, email, instant messaging, written commuication and verbal communication. She was so sure of herself that she put her iPod down as a bet. I was starting to decide how long I thought she could go (I was thinking an hour) when she backed out of the deal. I didn't even have time to bet Chris money yet! Shesh. But then she decided to do it again. I was scaling my bet back to 15-30 minutes when she backed out again. Fine... no bet I guess. So she said "I will see you tomorrow" and left. That was at 10:54. She was back by 11:00. So much for "tomorrow". Oh well.