All week my parents said that they wanted to go to a movie with me. Since today was the last day that I would be in town, we designated today as that day. I was not in the loop on movie selection (because I was still asleep :P) so they picked the Polar Express. They said that they had not heard anything about the movie (which I later found out was not the case), but they said it would be really good. So we went.

When I was little, my parents bought a book called "The Polar Express" which is about a boy who doesn't believe in Christmas anymore. I didn't make the connection until the movie started, otherwise I probably would have opted for a different movie. But I am glad that I didn't know. I loved the movie because it did remind me of the story, and the days when Christmas held more meaning to me than just an overly commercialized holiday. Beyond the story, the animaition was amazing. I mean, you probably have seen some good animation, but this was awesome! There were some points in the movie where I wasn't sure if it was live action or animation, and the voice talent was right on. Tom Hanks did some of the voices and he was good. I don't want to give away the story, but I would highly recommend that movie. Live a little... go see a movie that caters to your kid side.

After seeing that movie, we went over to a family friend's house to watch the BSU vs Nevada game. There was a lot riding on this game because BSU was going for their first undefeated season in school history, plus they are hoping for a bowl game. The big bowl games are worth abouot 14 million dollars, whereas the bowl that they already have an invite to is only worth 1.4 million. BSU did win 55-21, but we will have to wait a week to find out if they get into any big bowl games because there are a few teams that play next week. Idaho on the other hand... heh.. yeah. They got in invite to the "Lets throw this POS team into a bottomless" bowl. Yeah. Go Vandals.

And the Packers play the Rams on Monday night. There is not going to be a gimmie game for either side and I am looking forward to a good game. The Packers are still on a five game win streak (They are 6-4 and tied for first in their division), while the Rams have lost three of their last four (They are 5-5). However, last week's win at Houston was very sloppy for the Packers, with them bearly pulling out a fourth quarter win with no time left on the clock. This week they do have homefield advantage, and I think that that will throw the balance to the Packers. However, I still think the Packers could have done it in St. Louis.

Well its bed time for me. Gotta get up early to go home tomorrow.

The funny thing about blogging is that Yohan was the one that first got me into it, and now he is hardly doing it at all. Oh the irony. Gotta love Yohan for jumping on Wallop (which, for those of you who haven't guessed, is a Microsoft related thing, and yes Microsoft stole the idea from someone else). Oh well.

Today was my brother's birthday. Yea. He turned 16 and didn't do much. I really don't think he cared much except for the cake and presents.

But today was fun because I got to hang out with Corey all day. And when I say all day, I mean all day. First we went to his Discreet Math class, where I found out that Discreet Math really is suppose to be slightly challenging, unlike my class which is an easy ‘A’. Corey has to do a whole bunch of proofs, and actually do work. My class is just like my middle school classes, except that we go slower. Our teacher is such a push over, and I am not even taking advantage of her. She almost takes advantage of herself!

After class, I finally got to play DDR on a metal pad. Corey said that it is the way that DDR is meant to be played... and it was fun because I got to keep my shoes on and there were some new songs. The problem is that it is hard to challenge yourself with the arcade version, because failing a song makes you lose the whole set of songs, and your money. It is only 50 cents, but that could add up fast.

Then we went to MCHS and I got to see all of my teachers. They were all happy to see me, and commented on how many of the class of 2004 that they had seen. Yeah! Good showing. But when I went in to talk to Mr. Caldwell, I saw his freshman class and couldn't believe how small some of them were! There was one or two that looked like he should be in elementary or middle school. Heh... hard to believe that I was once like that. I am going there tomorrow so that I can talk to the teachers more, when they aren't tied up with classes.

And here comes Thanksgiving! I am not sure what I am looking forward to more: the food or the football. I think it is the mix that makes Thanksgiving so cool. We watch the first football game and then eat. Afterwards we watch the second game while we let our food settle. Unfortunately, last year the Green Bay lost to Detroit on Thanksgiving so my food didn't settle well, but this year I don't have any teams that I am rooting for that are playing. The first game is Indianapolis at Detroit, which could be a good game, but I doubt it. Indianapolis has run over almost every team that they have played, scoring tons of points (like 30 and 40 plus points a game), so I am positive that they will win. Chicago at Dallas could be a little bit more of a nail biter, just because both of the teams suck. Neither one of them have any hopes for the playoffs anymore so there is nothing riding on this game. Dallas has home field advantage, but they have been very flaky this year, while the Bears have picked it up in the past few weeks. I think this will be a little bit closer of a game, but I believe that the Bears can do it.

One other thing, I am curious as to who visits this page so if you read this, just leave a comment saying so.

So I am going to play Need for Speed again and maybe some Half Life 2. So until next time…

Ah. It is so nice to be home. I thought that I would hate coming back, but I really feel comfortable. The weird thing is that it really doesn't feel like I have been gone for three months; it just feels like I was gone for a while and now I am home.

But that has made me think, where is home? Is "Home" the one that my parents live at and where I was raised, or is home the one where all of my stuff is right now, and where I live all year, and where all of my friends are? I am not sure. I think it is UI though. This kind of stuff has seemed to come up a lot recently because everyone has a different meaning for the word, home. Oh well.

After riding down with Chris today, I am almost inclined to say that my home really is UI because I am not sure that I have the guts to drive down with him again :P. Scary driver... he is everything that my parents warned me about when I was little. I swear, he is going to get in an accident one of these days because of his driving and I hope that I am not in the car when that happens (well, actually I hope that it doesn’t happen at all).

After surviving the car ride (by the grace of God), I saw my parents again. Unfortunately, they thought that I was coming back either Saturday or Sunday, and when they were invited to an open house on Saturday evening, they accepted. Since my parents were gone, I took the opportunity to go see Corey! We played DDR for a while, but after using the pads that Yohan has, I was too spoiled to use Corey's pad :(. Oh well, it was still good fun because we talked for about 4 hours. Good times Corey, good times.

Oh, and we have that LAN party that we are going to do this week. Hmmm... not much planning on that so far. I think that when I get done with this entry that I will send out an email trying to get the ball rolling on that. My mom said that she would love to have it at our house, so that is one possibility. Plus we can play DDR! I can't wait!

After getting home and seeing all of the magazines lying around that were advertising Christmas stuff, I am sick. Seriously, I am really starting to realize that Christmas has lost all of its meaning, and that all it is about is buying stuff. Why do people throw themselves into debt just to buy everyone on their list presents? I can understand going into debt for something that you really need, like clothes, food or a house, but for Christmas? Whatever happened to "its the thought that counts"? What happened to the season of giving? All the stores want is your money. I want to puke. Am I going to feel better if I get the latest and greatest stuff this year, and if I buy as much stuff as I can for other people? No. Would I rather receive nothing, and just give my friends and family something that is small but special? Yes.

I mean, the kick off to the Christmas shopping season is called Black Friday. People are pushing and shoving and cutting in line just to get the stuff that they want. "It is about what I want... now get out of my way!" I really wouldn’t mind a low key Christmas this year. I want to ignore all of the Christmas advertisements (especially the Old Navy ones) but I know that isn't possible. I want to go into a hole and celebrate Christmas away from the ads. Now I just need to convince my friends and family to join me :P.

Sigh, I am done ranting. Good night.

I loved going to summer camp. I got to get away for a week, hang out with kids my age, and have fun. I once went to one that was about science (like dirt, and water and things like that). It was boring but I still enjoyed it. I went to one other camp for three straight summers because I liked it so much. I probably would have kept going, but it was for middle schoolers only.

One year at that camp, (I think it was the second or third year) I met a girl named Jessica. She was a really nice girl, not terribly nice looking but I really don't judge on looks. I think she had her eye on me the whole week because she kept going out of her way to talk to me. I remember that towards the end of the week she was getting very possessive with me, and I think it was because the camp was putting a dance on for the last day. She almost made me ask her (even though it wasn't that kind of a dance, but we were middle schoolers and we wanted to feel special). So I did.

The dance was fun. I danced with her and only her because she wouldn't let me dance with any other the other girls that were sitting on the sidelines looking sad. That dance was the first time that I slow danced with a girl. And it was close dancing... no buffer between us. Wow... I was an ecstatic.

About half way through the dance, we decided to take a break and walk outside to get some air. Since it was summer, the sun had just set behind us so it was just light enough to see each other. We walked out by the lake to talk. I must have thought that she was something really special because I told her some pretty embarrassing stories about me and a lot of details about my life. I found out that she lived in Boise, and I got her phone number. She made me promise that I would call her when I got home so that we could get together. If we had been out by the lake much longer, I might have had my first kiss right there by the lake, but instead one of the counselors saw us and made us go back to the dance.

We sat next to each other on the bus ride home too. We were going steady at this point. I think I even got to hold her hand. When I got home, I immediately called her up. We didn't talk about much, but we were on the phone together! I had made a connection! A few days later, she invited me to a Fourth of July party that she was going to have at her house. She said that it would be our first date.

That was all that I thought about for the next few days. Wow, I have a date! I have a DATE! I HAVE A DATE! I wasn't sure what to expect, but it didn't matter. We were official.

Before I went over to her house on that Fourth of July, I picked a few flowers for her, and even spiffed myself up. I couldn't wait to get there. When my mom dropped me off, she made me promise to be good and to thank her parents for having me over and all that jazz. I promised and then ran to her front door. I think she saw me coming because she answered it immediately. I handed her the flowers that were sweaty from my hands by this point, and she let me in. She introduced me to her family and two of her friends that she had also invited over. Then her friends, Jessica and I went off by ourselves. And then the four of us just sat there. We had nothing to do until it got dark when we would light off fireworks.

I found out that the other two were a couple too, so this was like a double date. After we had been talking for a while about nothing, the two girls suddenly left to talk outside of earshot. Feeling attached to Jessica, I started to follow her but she told me to stay. So I did. I didn't know the guy at all, and making small talk was painful because both of us were just waiting for the girls to come back. Finally, the girls came back. They wouldn't tell us what they talked about but they started to lead us towards a shed. Not dragging us, but suddly leading us. When we stopped, we were behind the shed that looked like it probably held a lawn mower and other landscaping equipment. The girls got to the point about what they wanted. Jessica wanted to kiss me back here and the other girl wanted to kiss her boyfriend. I don't think it was as big of a deal for them because I think they had done it before, but I was shocked and very scared.

I had no idea how to kiss. All that I could think of were kissing scenes from movies that I had seen. I was thinking about how her spit would get in my mouth, and how our noses might get in the way. I looked at her and tried to scope out how I would do it. I had no idea. I figured that I would let the other two do it first and see how they did it. I could fake this! The problem was that when they were getting ready to kiss, Jessica pulled me out from behind the shed so that they could be alone. Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no. What would I do?

I didn't have much time to think because they finished up and Jessica pulled me behind the shed. We didn't say anything. Before I could even think about what we were about to do, she grabbed the sides of my face and started kissing me. The whole thing felt like an out of body experience, because it didn't feel clumsy. My nose didn't get in the way of hers, and I didn't taste anything nasty. That was until I found some food around her teeth. Bleh... but I kept going. I had to look cool. Then she bit my tongue. I didn't even realize that it was in her mouth but she clamped down and pushed it out. I felt dejected. My tongue wasn't good enough for her??? For her mouth that had food in it?? Awww.

We finished shortly thereafter, and she ran away. I walked back around the shed still on cloud 9 (because even if it wasn't great, it was still my first kiss). She ran over with her girlfriend and they talked about their kisses (again out of earshot). Both of us guys just stood there. I probably had some dumb look on my face though. The girls came back, and they wanted to do it again. Oh no. I don't want to roll the dice twice! I figured that I got lucky the first time, but that I was bound to screw up this time. She was very insistence that she wanted it, so I knew that I had to do it.

Again we waited for the other couple to get done, and again we went back there. For some reason I thought she was doing this whole thing to look cool to her girlfriend as well, and since I really didn't want to kiss again, at least not so soon, I suggested that we just pretend that we were kissing. She looked at me like I was some sissy. She didn't give me a chance to change my answer, but just walked away. Again, the girls got together for a powwow, and came back. We were not going for another round, but Jessica decided to announce to everyone about how I was scared to kiss. Aww... that hurt. I felt so dejected at that point. I wasn't cool.

The other two went back a few more times to kiss, but Jessica didn't want to go back with me anymore, and I really didn't want to go back with her either. I really don't remember anything else about the night; I am not even sure if I stayed for the fireworks. I imagine that I did because I had to wait for my mom to pick me up, but I didn't care about any of it. I went home feeling so depressed. I liked her. I thought that she liked me.

The next day I called her and we talked. Nothing important, but I was trying to rebuild the relationship. I could make this work. The day after that, she called me. Wow! This is awesome. She is still interested in me. Then she called the day after that. And the day after that. And so on. I was starting to get very annoyed with her calling because we never, ever talked about anything. In hindsight, she might have been waiting for me to invite her on a second date, but I just thought that she was getting annoying. Every time that she called I thought about that kiss. That dreadful kiss. The kiss that was so good and bad at the same time.

It got to the point where I would see her on caller ID, and I would have someone else pick up the phone and tell her that I wasn't there. After a few days of this, you would think that she would get the point, but she didn't. Day after day after day. Finally, my mom told her off. Told her that I wasn't interested, and to take a hint. Heh... I think she only called a few more times after that, and then gave up. I was annoyed with her and very over her. I didn't want anything to do with her.

Thinking about it today, I realize that she would have been the really clingy type, and probably a whore. My mom still calls her "Jessica the whore". I guess my mom is right about stuff every once in a while. At least she saved me from that girl, even if it was just picking up the phone every time and lying to her about my whereabouts. I wonder how it would have turned out if we had kept going. I imagine that she would have been a drama queen and never let me out of her sight. It would have ended after she saw me talking to another girl, and she would make me get back together with her.

The funny thing is that even though I hate her now, I still remember all of the details seven years after the fact. I still haven't had another relationship, though, and the motto "I will let them come to me" has served me well. That was, until Christine came along who did come to me. I am a rookie in the relationship business, surrounded by people who have had umpteen relationships. Even Christine has had quite a few, even up to last week. Intimidating? Yes. Do I want to get to know Christine better? Sure! Do I know what I am looking for, or what I am waiting for? No, I am clueless. I don't know how she is going to make me feel, but I figure that she just has to be better than Jessica. Can I stand to have my heart broken? I think so. Can I stand another kiss with food involved and a rejected tongue? Well, if that happens again, I think I will go asexual.

Yeah, I know! I asked Christine if she would be willing to go on a date with me after the Thanksgiving break and she said yes! Wow. Well, I first asked her if she wanted to go to Bob's to eat tomorrow, and she said no to that... but then I offered a double date and she said yes! Ok, I need some ideas as to what we should do. Also, there is no way I am going on this date alone so is anyone willing to double date with me? I know Yohan said he would, but JB would have to be able to go too. Kacy also said he could go. So that shouldn't be a problem, but does anyone have any ideas as to what to do on the date? Just dinner? I dunno... I want something slightly more thoughful than that. But yeah, comment away with your suggestions because I need them. Big time.

Now that I have the second date in my entire life coming up, maybe I will tell the scary tale of my first. But that will come later. Now comment!

I couldn't think of a creative title for this one, so it is simple. Besides, I don't feel very well. I am not sure what it is from, as most of the tower is getting over different things. I think I have something different because it is not a cough... just queasiness. I haven't been sick in so long that I didn't remember what it felt like, but I think it may have to do with the lack of sleep, because I have been tired all day and just started feeling sick this evening.

I knocked two more projects, and one more test out of the way today. That leaves only my Chemistry test tomorrow, which I have studied over for about 10 cumulative hours and I still don't think I understand it. The good news is that I think if I get another D- on this test, and a D- on the final, I might be in the running for a B. I think I have a C locked in pretty well, but we will see in four weeks. He said that his finals are so hard that even he wouldn't want to take them. Thanks Doc!

But I do think that I will be able to get an A in math without a problem. CS, Core, and English will be a challenge but might still be doable, so I think that I might end up with a 3.0 GPA as a worst case scenario. Our English teacher seems scared of giving A's, but if I don't get an A on the paper I just turned in today, heads are going to fly. I have worked my butt off on every single writing assignment and have only squeezed out B's. The thing that pisses me off (other than the fact that I can't get an A in a 100 level English class) is that I have heard other students talking about how easy their English class is. Grr... plus our teacher talks too much. I hate our English class.

Today, Corey invited me to go to classes with him next week. BSU makes their students go to class next week... heh. But I think it could be fun. And then we could go home and play DDR! I can’t wait to hang out with Corey next week. I get to see all of my other friends everyday (except for Kacy and Kevin, but I see them weekly), but I haven’t seen Corey since August. Good thing I am not playing DDR at home because I know my family would make fun of me, even though they tell me to get exercise. Oh well.

Oh! Speaking of exercise, I finally got around to weighing myself again, and I am down another 1.8 pounds. That brings the total, since I started my self designed "anti-freshman-fifteen" diet, to 9.2 pounds lost. Oh yeah! I doubt I will stick to it over Thanksgiving, but I can splurge every once in a while right? And it is a holiday!

Ok, back to homework, and then bed. So to everyone in Boise, see you this weekend!

I love blogging so much. Everyone gets to see a little bit of me, and I get to type it out. It makes me feel like I am doing something with my life instead of just going through the days, day after day. It is like a reflection time where I can go back through everything that is going on. Plus you guys find out about it as well. I think this could become an addiction. I wonder if it is healthy or not. Maybe it is like a DDR addiction: healthy but time consuming. Anyway, I am looking at Diaryland as well for my blog. It is really customizable so I might jump over there. The problem is that I have to get everything set up and that takes time. I don't have that.

I know I shouldn't be writing in this right now. I blew off bible study so that I could do homework, but this is just starting to get so wearing on me. The only thing that is keeping me working is the fact that I know that there is only 48 hours of this stuff left.

I can't wait to go back to Boise. Not only will I get to sleep in all week, eat food whenever I want, and not go to class, but I will also get to see my family again... and my friends! Yea for LAN parties. Yea for Half Life 2.

Got to see HL2 being played last night because Yohan bought it. I would but I just can't play games for that long. I have had Doom 3 since our last LAN party (Alex let me install it) and I have played for maybe 3 hours total. That is over the course of 4 or 5 months. Sigh, I want to play it though.

I have never been counting down to the weekend so soon, but I am counting it by how many projects and tests I have left for the week, instead of counting days. Two tests and one project down, and two projects and two tests left to go. And of course Chemistry is half of that.

Rack up win number four in a row for the Packers! With this win they take the lead in their division because they beat the former division leader, the Minnesota Vikings (the team they are currently tied with). That puts them in first. Minnesota is on a three game losing streak right now, and I hope they continue that. I am a tad concerned though just because they do have two very tough games coming up: The Eagles and the Rams. We will see how all of this turns out but I think that the Packers have a good shot at least one of the wildcard spots.

Well, Yohan tried to get me to use the blogging site Wallop, but I didn't like it. Right now it is in its early stages and it is just too buggy for my liking so I headed over to Live Journal. Then I find out Live Journal is open source. So now Yohan is with the MS version of blogging and I am on the OS side. This always seems to happen :P.

I am thinking that I will do something this week with Christine. Something. I am not sure what but I think it will be good. I have no idea what girls like but I guess I can take a wild guess and hope that I get it right. If not then... well... I guess she will laugh at me and tell me that I am a dork. Then she will break off all contact with me and I will be the same Brian that I always was: just Brian.

On a more sour note, *gets up on his soapbox* I hate chemistry. I am pretty sure that most of the world knows how much I hate chemistry but I just need to get this out again. Today (a Sunday night) we had a review for the test that we take this Thursday night. And it is a three hour test. Yeah, if that isn't bad enough we have to know so much freaking stuff, and even our professor said that it was a "huge amount of stuff to know, and I am pushing you to what I would expect out of my 112 class or beyond". Oh, great. I am in Chem 111 and we are learning stuff from future semesters. There is a reason that I am not taking this class next semester from this guy (or at all). So this is our third test (the first two I got 62% and 63% on). Then he proceeds to tell us that the final is unbelievably hard and that we should pray to God that we get out of it somehow. I think he likes to see us suffer. The only good news that I got is that he curves the grades at the end of the semester. Oh thanks... stress us out with your fun games and then get us up to passing. GAH! I can't take this.

Anyway, I have that test and a 15 page paper in chemistry that I have to work on now. Sigh.

I love the weekends. They are a time for relaxation... and catching up on homework. Well... that is what it seems like. Next week I have three tests, and two 10+ page papers due. Eh.

But tonight rocked. Yohan and I drug out DDR again and started playing. Oh I love that game, and I don't feel like I am wasting time because I am working out. But everyone decided to go to the movie 'Collateral', so of course since that turned into the cool thing to do, I had to join in. Lo and behold when we got to the basement, there was Christine (the girl that I talked about in my last entry), and I invited her to come. She’s fun. I think I could consider that movie a date because I paid. Hmm... I wonder what the rules are on that. Anyway, she didn't end up liking the movie but I did. It was full of action, killing and a plot that wrapped itself up and then slowly unwound. The problem was that the ending was very poor, but all in all I really liked the movie.

When we walked back, Danielle and Christine ran ahead and started talking. I can only imagine what they were talking about. Wait... actually I have no idea. I am pretty sure it had to do with me, but I don't know what they said. As with they guys that hung back, they started talking about me and Christine. I really think that they are more excited that I am in a relationship than I am. Actually, I have no idea what I think. I am not even sure if we are in a relationship. This is why I have never dated before: girls are so confusing.

Kacy offered to go on a double date with me, which really sounds like fun. We could go on a date (which I think is what she wants) but it wouldn't feel awkward and I could test the waters. I am just scared that Kacy would bring Kevin as his date and then that would be all sorts of awkward :P.

After we got back, I finally got to see what everyone likes about Pita Pit. It is highly hyped and very good. I am not sure that it is as good as everyone makes it out to be... I mean it is a wrap... not God's food or something. I would definitely have it again if they were healthier, but of course I am on my diet and those things aren't exactly conducive to being healthy.

I was suppose to weigh myself today but I never got around to it. I am kind of looking forward to seeing how I did this week because I think that I did pretty well. In three weeks I lost 7.4 pounds and that was even with my birthday in there. I think I could be down 5 pounds this week like I was the first week. We will see.

Man I love this blogging stuff, but I need to get to bed. I have to get up early in the morning so I am signing out.

Sigh, I never thought that I would break down and consider dating but it has happened. Don't worry, the things that I have said about "waiting for them to come to me" is still holding true. Actually I am not even sure if we are dating or just friends, but I know that she likes me. I like her too. This is the closest I have ever gotten.

The whole relationship kind of snuck up on me (which is why I am still not sure if we are dating or friends). I knew her from a junior high youth rally that we both volunteered at and from Idaho Catholic Youth Convention (ICYC) but I hadn't talked to her in about two years. When I saw her up here she was just another familiar face that I remembered from before college and I really didn't think anything of her, but she kept stopping by my room whenever she was on the 11th floor (which was rather often considering that she lives on the 10th floor).

Tonight she invited me over to her room for dinner (which I couldn't turn down because she wouldn't let me go to the LLC to get something to eat). After playing DDR for a few hours, I took her up on her invitation. Showered and fresh smelling (yeah... would seem like quite the occasion) we ate and then proceeded to talk for about 2.5 hours. Scary, I have never talked to a girl for that long.

Two things are scaring me about this whole thing though. One is that she manipulated me into staying longer. I couldn't leave without her saying goodbye... even as I was walking out the door telling her that I was leaving I couldn't until she dismissed me, so to speak. Damn... I think I am whipped. Even Yohan was obeying her earlier!

The other thing is that she likes to dance. Yes... I have a very good record with me staying away from dancing and I really don't want to ruin that. Two weeks ago I went swing dancing with a girl from my chemistry class so I have had more than enough dancing for the next few years. Gah. Dancing :@.

We will see how this goes. Man, I can't lose my reputation for avoiding relationships. This could be bad. I guess I could just tell you guys who she is and you could tell her about me and then she would run away, and maybe even move out of the tower. But we will see.

I never thought that I would get sucked into the whole blogging thing, but it has finally happened. I guess I was going to eventually, I mean it has gone from being a thing that only people with lots of time do, to a massively popular diary tool. I know that I want to be cool so of course I have to join in.

Anyway, I am off to see what Wallop can do.