I am such a jackass. I talked to Kevin, and we got this crap cleared up, but I still feel terrible about it all.

"In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold."
Ephesians 4:26

Yeah, I screwed that up. I am still asking myself why. What on earth made me do that, because I look back on yesterday and it makes no sense. When I wrote those things, it felt out of character for me BECAUSE IT WAS! So why did I do it? Sigh.

I have done some serious thinking... not just about what I said but what it was in me that caused me to do it, and I think that I have some serious jelousy problems. Not just against Kevin but against almost anyone that I know. Instead of being happy for people in what they do, I get jelous.

10th Commandment
"Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's."

I don't even know if I know myself anymore. Praying last night didn't help too much except for making me realize that I know very little about myself.

I guess Kevin was just the victim of something that I have to deal with.

So since I was so unbelievably mean to Kevin on this damn blog, I will use this to apologize to him too. He forgave me, but I was still a jackass.

Kevin. I am so sorry.

As I said, I am such a jackass.

I have finally gotten my journal of the mission trip up. I have put it on another blog so that people from church who read it won't read the rest of my blog. Enjoy!

http://www.livejournal.com/~mexicantrip

The mission trip is over, spring break ended, and school is back into full swing. Everyone asks how my spring break was, and I struggle, because saying that it was awesome, unbelievable, or incredible doesn't do the trip justice. I don't think that there is a word that does do it justice. Am I glad to be back? Heck no! Down in Juarez, the people had absolutely nothing, yet there was a joy in them that was undescribable. I don't see it here in the states. The people who worked at the Lord's ranch were volunteering all of their time (one lady had been there for 28 years), and they had no problem with that. They didn't care about retirement plans, or saving up for different things, because God provided for them.

They were happy.

I have been reevaluating my life, and I don't know what I want to do. I don't want to be the same person I was before the trip, but it is so easy to fall back into that trap. I have thought about just leaving after this year, but I really want to do programming for God, which would mean that I should at least have 2 years under my belt for that. A lot of places want a whole undergrad degree. I just don't know what I want. I haven't even been getting on messenger lately.

I think I like the changes that I have made in my life though... I am not spending as much time on the computer, I am being more social, and I am praying more. I guess I will have to see where I am in a month... I just hope I can maintain this.

BTW: I kept a journal while I was on the trip, and I will be posting it here once I get it typed up. Watch for that.

Spring break is finally here, and so is my mission trip. For clearification, this mission trip is not really for converting people... it is more for serving the poor. Honestly, I have no idea what is going to go on down there, but I know that God will work with the 19 of us to do great things.

This is what I do know about the trip:

SATURDAY, MARCH 12
9 AM: Meet up at church, and get ready to go
2:15 - 5:25: Fly to Vado, New Mexico

SATURDAY, MARCH 19
8:00-9:21: Fly back to Spokane

Yeah, there is a little gap in there. But I plan to write down what goes on there and put in here when I get back. I can't wait!

If you are looking for something to read, go to the March 8th entry and read over the comments. It is becoming a pretty interesting thread.

Alright, wish me luck, and enjoy your spring break!

I talk to people, and everyone is talking about how many midterms that they have to take this week. I remember this happening last semester too, yet, over the course of my freshman year, I have had a total of zero midterms. Last semester I had a few tests that fell on midterms week (they were not midterms though), but this year I have had none all week! Computer science friggin rocks!

With midterms ending comes spring break. Normally I would be looking forward to a week off, but this year I have the mission trip. I am glad that I am going but I am starting to wish that I hadn't volunteered, because not only will I miss out on a week of relaxation, but I will also miss out on playing Madden on Sunday. Plus I am aprehensive because I have no idea what is going to happen. They have given us very few details for us to go on.

You may have have heard about the dissapearings that are going on down in Mexico. Most of them are happening in Juarez (which IS where we are going), so please pray for our team, and for the women down there who are most likely being raped and then killed. They need a lot of help down there.

I am glad that I am going. Lord, just let me be as effective as I possibly can as to bring a little bit of light to a place that is unbelievably dark.

As you may know, I love to poke fun at people... for almost anything under the sun. But I am also fair, and like to give people kudos when they do things good. In previous posts, I made fun of Kacy because he was not keeping his lenten obligations for giving up computer games, instant messaging, or sugar. But low and behold, I saw a post on Kacy's blog that stated what he is planning now.

"The way I was doin' sweets was this: No soda, no candy, other sweets like Sobe and V8 Splash if they have a sufficient amount of vitamins (sobe can have up 7 different vitamins in one bottle). Knowing this, some people don't think that sobe and v8 splash should be allowed because they have high sugar contents. To you, I say fine. I can do it."

" ...I was not including console games however some have made the argument that a console is also a computer. To you I say, fine. I'll give this up to. I am giving all this up to show you all that I can actually do it."

"...I had declared instant messaging as something I was giving up for lent. I then decided to set some rules and continue to do it."

And to that, I say kudos Kacy. Nice job!

Now that my blog is getting indexed by the major search engines, I am starting to get some extra traffic. After looking over the log, I saw some of the searches that people have typed in to get to my blog, and many of them are just a little bit wierd.

• On Google UK, someone found me when searching for '"bourne supremacy" end credits song' (I have that song on my music list).
• On Google USA, someone searched for 'Torrinim Emiliana'. I honestly have no idea how that would pull me up.
• One of the more humorous ones came from Google again. They searched for 'light pillow deathball' and I am the first result! Check it out, because I am hitting the big time now with the odd searches.
• I have to blame Yohan for this last one, and I really don't think I like this reference. When you search MSN Brazil for 'gay', I am within the first 10 results (which I take offense to!) :P

I will have to keep an eye on these for a while because these are interesting.

Anyway, McCoy hall went to a formal dinner at Bob's tonight (not in Bob's, but in a separate room... it was really fun). I posted a picture of all of us before we went to dinner, so check that out in the "Randomness" album. You can also see the picuture of us before our last formal dinner.

And I changed the colors on this site. I like change. Let me know if you do too!

Today rocked big time. Not only did the weather get back to "nice and sunny", so that I could get my shorts and sandals out, but I got great news today!

First was when I got accepted as the new hosting coordinator intern. Basically, that means that I will be helping out quite a bit for Vandal Friday, in the order of getting everything coordinated, and learning what the position entails. Also, I will be first in line to take the position at the end of the school year. I hope that this will be a cool position, so we will see. Oh, and don't get mad if I have to heckle you into hosting someone for Vandal Friday, but we are going to be very very short on hosts (so save us the time and sign up!)

The other good news that I got, was that I got the job as a camp counselor at the summer tech camp. It is a camp put on by a company called Internal Drive. The camp is for kids age 7-17, and I would be teaching Computer Programming/Robotics or Game Modding. They assigned me to those positions because of my programming experience (not because I have ever even modded a game :P, but that is my backup one). I would earn between $500-$650 a week depending on what camp I work at, and I would work about 8 weeks of the summer. I can't wait, because I will teach for a few hours every day, get food covered, get to go to some other city somewhere in the US, and make some pretty good money while staying at summer camp! Sorry Micron, but this is just more fun!